Fake It Til You Make It

I recently attended a blogging conference and during one of the sessions, the speaker said that we should define our blog audience  and write our posts with those people in mind. When I thought about who I want to reach with my blog, the people who immediately came to mind are the moms of young children. The 20- and 30-somethings who are tired and worn out and who feel like if one more person says, "MOMMY!" they are going to go off the deep end. I can write to you all from the bottom of my heart because I have so been here. Sometimes I am still there. Okay, a lot of times.

And when I'm writing these Physical Friday posts, I'm writing from my own experiences as a wife who doesn't always dig sex, but who knows it's not only vital to her bond with her husband but also to the survival of her marriage. And since I'm going to do it anyway, well by golly, I might as well make it as enjoyable as possible.

The goal of these posts isn't for all my readers to have mind-blowing lovemaking sessions three times a week because that's silly and unrealistic (and Big A if you are reading this, it is unrealistic, trust me). My goal is for you ladies to know that a healthy sex life can work wonders for your marriage, your self-esteem and your husband's self-esteem. Not to mention it's like commanded in the Bible.

But for some of you right now, sex is a CHORE. You feel touched out. You want some peace and quiet. After meeting everyone's needs all day, you just want to be alone. The thought of sex repulses you. Then your man comes to bed and touches your leg or whispers that thing he always says when he's in the mood and you feel like you're going to scream and storm out of the room and sleep in your minivan (not that I have EVER done that... recently).

So pretend we're sitting over coffee right now, as our children play happily together in the McDonald's playplace and we sip our mocha frappes, when I tell you this: "You need to fake it til you make it."

No. I'm not referring to faking an orgasm. I may have to write a whole separate post on that concept. I'm talking about doing it even when you don't feel like it. Trust me when I say that at first, you will feel like you're putting on a big, fake show, but after a while, most likely you will be enjoying sex again.

Here are a few suggestions for faking it til you make it. Feel free to add your own in the comments.
-Initiate sex even when you don't want to.
-Make it a point to think about sex with your husband. 
-Remember what used to make you feel really sexy and recreate that with him.
-Tell you husband that even though you're not 100% into sex at the moment, you're still willing to give it a try. See how eager he is to help you out.

When Big A and I were first married, we got a lot of advice about starting a family. One person told us, "there is no ideal time to have a baby. Sometimes you just have to jump in." Sex is the same way. If you wait to have sex until you're in the mood, it may be too late. Sometimes you have to just jump in and try to get things going again.

So fake it til you make it. And one day you won't have to.