Wrong.
Let me tell you a little story. About a year ago, I kept hearing people talk about the Twilight series of books. I've never been a lover of vampires or dark-themed books, so I ignored the buzz for a while. But then I noticed quite a few of my friends were enthralled by this series. These were grown women with husbands and children and good heads on their shoulders, recommending books about vampires that were written for teenagers.
As absurd as that sounded, I was intrigued, and I borrowed the first book of the series from a friend.
And I finished it in 48 hours. I got my hands on the next book in the series and didn't stop reading for another two days.
The details of what happened next are quite embarrassing for me, as an intelligent grown woman, to admit. Reading these books sparked a deep dissatisfaction in me. I felt this all-consuming sense of disappointment which I *think* was probably similar to the feeling an addict gets when he comes down from a high. The "Oh. I'm still here and this is still my life" feeling." I didn't want to do anything around the house. The kids were annoying me. And Big A, well, he could not do anything right. Not only did all of his little quirks - that normally do not bother me - start to bother me, but the fact that he wasn't a blood-sucking vampire who could kill me at any second made him even less desirable.
And if you think I'm exaggerating, you're wrong.
Sexual temptation is not a struggle of mine, but sensual temptation is. In the Twilight books that I read, absolutely no sex takes place. Yet, the passion and intensity between the main characters was enough to make me want more. It was all about longing and lusting and I drank in every single word.
I wonder if this is a stumbling block for a lot of women or if it's just me. There are so many ways that Satan can get in our heads without us even knowing we're in danger. Books like Twilight (or Harlequin novels or even some Christian fiction that dances too close to that imaginary line between tasteful and lustful). Television shows with main characters who can't keep their hands off each other. Movies that end with a happily ever after every single time.
For me, it's the fairy tale. The idea that a man desires a woman so much that he'll let nothing stand in his way to get to her. No dirty dishes or laundry piles. No kids clamouring for attention. No jobs or pets or any other distractions, just him and her and perfect hair and bodies. Soon I'm believing that I deserve all of that too.
As I contemplated writing this post, I thought of how dangerous the sensual fairy tale is, especially for women like me who live a very ordinary life. Fairy tales are exciting and provide a fun escape. And unlike pornography, which is in your face in big letters and neon paint, the fairy tale is subtle. It creeps in innocently but spreads unhappiness and discontent slowly and deeply. However, like pornography, all that it really offers is broken promises and a whole lot of shame and sadness.
I keep thinking of Phillipians 4:8. "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."
I'm pretty sure God wasn't referring to Twilight and Days of Our Lives and Cosmo when He made that list.
While I pray that Big A's eyes and ears will be guarded from temptation, it's only right that I pray that my heart and mind will be guarded as well.
I pray you'll do the same if you share this struggle with me.
For the record, I haven't read the last two books in the series. God really intervened in that situation and helped me to see that I've got my prince right in front of me. Sure, Big A isn't perfect and maybe he won't ever be a real vampire, but I'm blessed beyond my wildest dreams with someone who is a good provider, an excellent husband and so much more. And that's my fairy tale.
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