Protection

I'm not talking about birth control today. I'm talking about hedges.

The Bible is very clear about the threat to marriages.  In Proverbs 5, we learn about the adultress, whose lips drip with honey to entice a man. And if that man is not careful, verse 8 says that he will give his best to someone who is not his wife and eventually be led to death.

Because Big A and I believe infidelity is a threat, we have instituted a hedge of protection in our relationship.

Most likely, other people think we're nuts. You may too after you read this, but please stick around. :)

Here are some ways we protect what God has given us here.
-No close friendships with people of the opposite sex. 
-No lunches out with co-workers of the opposite sex. 
-Basically no time spent alone with people of the opposite sex (fortunately, there have been no work situations that have necessitated alone time like this. We'll cross that bridge if we have to). 
-Lots of prayer. 
-Talking and listening. 
-Intimacy is a big deal.

We do what we do because our marriage is important to us. Because sometimes you don't realize you're being led astray until it's too late. Because there's no reason we should rely on someone outside of our marriage for companionship, advice, or a shoulder to cry on. Because there's no reason we should allow someone outside of our marriage to rely on us. 

Proverbs 5 also says
 ¹⁸ May your fountain be blessed,
       and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.
 ¹⁹ A loving doe, a graceful deer—
       may her breasts satisfy you always,
       may you ever be captivated by her love.
 ²⁰ Why be captivated, my son, by an adulteress?
       Why embrace the bosom of another man's wife?

 There is no need that Big A has that should be met by another woman. Likewise, I should have no reason to turn to another man to fulfill a need that I have. Of course, the world will try to tell us that it's okay. There's no harm in friendships, that it's even healthy to spend time with other men and women. They'll call it insecurity or control.

But they don't mention the affairs that get started between friends and co-workers. The temptation to flirt or let our minds wander. The marriages that crumble because one spouse thinks that the grass is greener in the neighbor's yard. The emotional toll of juggling the needs of another woman/man that you shouldn't be so involved with in the first place.

I know firsthand how easy it is to go down this seemingly harmless road. To start a friendship with someone of the opposite sex that leads to fun flirtation and compliments and butterflies and the creating of scenarios to "accidentally" run into someone, all of which took the focus off my spouse. 

Ladies, I truly, truly, truly (really, I truly do) believe that if we don't want to have sex with our husbands, there is someone else out there who DOES and who will take advantage of the space that we leave empty in him. And in case you haven't noticed, my husband is hot. While I completely trust my husband (although, I do not completely trust a lot of other women), we realize that Satan would love nothing more than to destroy our family so we can't take chances.

This shield of protection around your marriage doesn't have to be limited to relationships with the opposite sex. It can involve computer time, certain movies, places or really anything that invites temptation.

What sort of hedge do you have around your marriage?