Let's Get Down to Business

I hope you all enjoyed kissing your spouses this week! I failed miserably at this challenge because my husband was away for five days on a work trip. But I tried to make up for it as soon as he got home.

In planning for this series, I paid close attention to all the conversations I had with friends about intimacy. And the most common hindrance to intimacy that I heard from my pals is lack of time. We're all so stinkin' busy these days! Between kids, jobs, extracurricular activities, church commitments, extended family and who knows what else, the only thing we want to do in bed in sleep. In theory, we all want our marriages, sex life included, to be a priority, but in reality, it doesn't happen if we don't make it happen. And sometimes all of the hours in our day get eaten up by everything else and there's literally no time left for the one thing that we would love to do. It's pretty much an afterthought to punctuate an already exhausting day.

Based on findings from my very scientific research, which has taken place at my kitchen table, at playdates and at the McDonald's playplace (over many cups of their delicious hot chocolate), I'm concluding that most men DO NOT like the idea of putting this on the schedule. They say the element of surprise is ruined when it's scheduled, or sex becomes a chore, or their wives are only doing it out of duty when they're doing on a certain night of the week.

But I'm also concluding that putting intimate time on the calendar is a relief for many busy women. When they know that Monday night is time with the hubby, Monday night becomes pretty special. Legs are shaved. Nails are done. Perfume is sprayed. See-through clothing that hasn't been worn since Valentine's Day 2003 gets pulled out of the bottom of the underwear drawer. The sensuous wife comes out to play.

However, if you're husband really isn't crazy about seeing that on the calendar, my suggestion is to etch it on your brain. Pick a night that works best for you and pull out all the stops. Even if you have a business meeting the night before due to some, um, pressing issues, still stick to your mental schedule. Soon, you'll start looking forward to that night as your night to shine for your husband.

And that's a very good thing. Eventually, you may decide to pick up an extra shift or two.

1 Corinthians 7:4 "The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife."